


it goes without saying

by LyraLV



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Underfell Sans (Undertale), implied spicykustard, jerrycest, kustard - Freeform, the author regrets absolutely nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 10:54:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19018459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyraLV/pseuds/LyraLV
Summary: Jerry finds his match.





	it goes without saying

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Jerry

**An Epic Tale of Romance Beyond Proportion: Book One of a Thirty-Five Part Series**

_POV: Jerry_

Somehow, in a world seemingly destined for a bland state of normality and dissatisfying attractions, Jerry found his true love in another so uniquely made for him, unparalleled in likened interest as no other monster had ever been. In effect, Jerry found his true love through himself, Jerry. The other Jerry is not from an alternate universe nor is he an alter ego. He is nothing like Jerry aside for the fact that he is Jerry. And he has the same exact appearance as him. And bears the same name. And acts the same way. Actually, they are quite similar. The only real difference between the two is that the other Jerry’s left pinky is slightly shorter than his right, a disquieting fact as the original Jerry has evenly sized pinkies. However, neither of them have yet noticed this difference, so the information is all in fact useless to them as they regard themselves to be exact replicas of each other, perfectly made in every way.

How they met was by utter chance. Jerry had long since realized he was lonely in this world that shuns him, so he broke into a human’s government facility, somehow completely unnoticed by the staff despite the fact that he took up three quarters of the width of the halls he sneaked through, occasionally rebounding scientists left and right with his gargantuan face and body. He found his way into a room with a machine of inconclusive proportions, and completely without purpose entered some mathematical equations and cloned himself.

It was lust at first sight. But Jerry is a romantic—or so he deludes himself into believing—so he took the other Jerry out of the human government facility and into a bar on the south side of the city because that’s where the sun shines brightest. They ordered their drinks, and before long, their anticipation grew too hot and intense for the both of them, and they felt the promise of an excitable evening in the air. The suspense was killing them, an eternity passing with every hour slipping by. Ten minutes later, their drinks arrived.

And it is here at this point now, that Jerry struggles with himself . . . not literally, that is, but internally.

Jerry looks at the other Jerry with his rainbow colored eyes. His red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, and magenta orbs spin hazily in pleasure. Other Jerry is overwhelmed by the sickly sweet kaleidoscope and becomes truly lost in Jerry's oculus uterque.

“Ohhhh, Jerry,” Jerry moans as he drags a juicy wet finger against other Jerry’s mouth. It’s uncertain how his finger became wet to begin with, but other Jerry decides it’s best not to question such trivialities. “What do you say we ditch this party together?”

“Oh, yes, Jerry,” other Jerry ejaculates. “Let’s leave together.”

Together, they tumble out of the bar and onto the city sidewalk, hands intertwined and love in their eyes like Romeo and Romeo. They can’t quite manage to lock arms due to the football shape of their meaty bodies, but they know they’re going to hit a home run anyways by the night’s end. Jerry feels like he just cleared the super tough nineteenth hole of the mini golf course and has won a year’s worth of free games. Beside him, other Jerry vibrates in a similarly excited nature.

The moon is already high in the sky as they walk back despite only being in the bar for a half-hour. _Sometimes, time just flies by when you're having fun_ , thinks Jerry profoundly. They take a turn into the unkempt portion of housing in the city. While walking, Jerry has temporary amnesia and accidentally walks by his apartment once or twice before remembering and redirecting their path. Other Jerry cares little. He has his beloved in his tiny arm. As soon as they arrive at the apartment building, they ascend the emergency stairs, bypassing the elevator because they are far too impatient to wait for it in the lobby and also because there is a "Out of Order" sign taped to the elevator doors. They reach the thirteenth floor with little trouble, and finally, stumble into Jerry's apartment, lips locked until they have to break apart to fit through the entryway. Other Jerry blows Jerry a kiss so that he does not feel lonely in the two seconds that they are not touching. Once inside, they resume making out, not bothering to shut the front door because they are in ecstasy, and the world should bear witness to Jerry finally getting laid.

The apartment is chilled, the radiator long since broken. Jerry knows he lives in a poor man’s abode, but he feels rather romantic about the setting. An artist struggling to survive on the cusp of soon-to-be success, despite the fact that Jerry is neither an artist nor a resident of this apartment building. He thinks of the owner he quietly shanked a couple hours prior to prepare for this very moment.

A muffled thump from the closet reminds him to check on his gracious host later and remove his bindings.

“What was that?” Other Jerry gasps from underneath him, somehow ending up on the floor during their hot and heavy make out session.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jerry says. He gnaws on other Jerry’s lip to distract him. Crunchy.

Other Jerry squirms underneath him, lost in the sensation. "Oh, fuck me," he sighs to himself.

"That's the plan," Jerry moans.

Suddenly, Jerry is swept away by an incredible swell of emotion. It feels like a speech coming on. Perhaps it is the nonalcoholic piña colada clouding Jerry’s senses. More likely, it is the sound of the hideous music booming through the paper thin walls of the apartment next door. Regardless, Jerry allows inspiration to lead him by the hand, words tumbling out of his mouth like weeds—tumbleweeds, to be precise. He serenades other Jerry along to the song blaring through the walls, crooning, “Oh, you touch my talala. Mmm, my ding ding dong—“

“Wait, wait, wait,” Red interjects, cutting Sans off from his typing. “Is he actually singing along to a song here?”

Sans looks up from Red’s laptop currently balanced on his lap and grins at Red from where he’s been peering over his shoulder. “You mean to tell me you’ve never heard it before?”

“The fuck?” Red laughs. “Someone actually wrote that?”

“Yeah. Surprised you haven’t come across it yet. Fits right in with your brand.”

“Huh.” The look in Red’s eyes spells trouble, and Sans has the regrettably correct assumption that Red will be spamming him with this song in the near future. But it’s not like Sans is unprepared for the barrage. He still has a secret arsenal of media that Red hasn’t yet discovered during his time on the surface.

Red hums, resting his chin on Sans’s shoulder as he resumes typing the train wreck of a story. It’ll be a miracle if he manages to finish this.

Red pipes up, “Wanna screw around?”

Sans doesn’t bother pausing in his typing. “That’s probably the least sexiest thing you could say right now. I’m not even the slightest bit turned on while writing this.”

“Sounds like a challenge,” Red purrs. Sans slaps away the hand that’s sneaking underneath his shirt. Red isn’t deterred if the encouraging growl that comes from behind him is any indication.

“Listen,” Sans says, “This is a super serious story that we need to finish so that Edge has a card to read on Valentine’s Day and knows how much he’s cherished. You don’t want to deprive him of that, do you?”

Red responds by reaching around him and slamming the ancient laptop closed. “I can think of some better ways we could cherish him. Want a sneak preview?”

“I didn’t save it,” Sans feebly protests as he follows Red’s prompting to lie on his back, the laptop half hazardously discarded to some other nebulous location. The rich softness of Edge’s comforter cushions his spine deliciously. He squints up at Red’s grin in an attempt to appear agitated. Never mind that he’s already lifting his pelvis to help Red drag down his shorts.

Red quickly ditches his own pair and situates himself on top of Sans like a giant cat demanding attention. Sans isn’t all that averse to giving him what he wants at the moment.

“You can always start over if it’s been erased, honey,” Red says as his teeth find Sans’s collarbone. “Besides, I’m thinking you could use some inspiration.”

Sans digs his fingers into Red’s shoulders and relishes in the approving noise he receives. Well, it’s not like he didn’t see this coming. Heh.

He sighs and yanks Red up by his spine. Red’s mockingly offended glare isn’t all that much of a deterrent. His affront quickly morphs into pleasure as Sans drags him into a long kiss. The pressure against his pelvis is becoming increasingly heady.

They make out for a few minutes before Red finally pulls back, face a bit flushed and grin eager. Sans raises a brow.

“What are you waiting for?" he says, trying and failing to sound unaffected. "Inspire me."

“Thought I was already doing that,” Red simpers.

The rest of the afternoon flies by without any further romantic writing as Red manages to successfully distract him, but Sans thinks Red’s got the right idea in how to show Edge some proper cherishing. Edge will probably agree. Sans is still determined to set aside some time later to finish the captivating interlude of Jerry and other Jerry at all costs because he knows without a doubt that Edge will force himself to read it through while gritting his teeth just because Sans made it for him. Sans is not at all abusing this newfound power he has over Edge.

He’s looking forward to how Edge intends to reward him for his efforts once he finishes reading it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sans and Red are horrible fanfiction writers and should never be allowed near a blank word document ever again for Edge’s sake.
> 
> The song referenced in the fic is the Ding Dong Song by Gunther and the Sunshine Girls. It’s an experience.


End file.
